उस दिन

ना रात का नशा था,
ना सुबह की ताजगी
और ना ही शाम की थकान |

मैं तो भरी दोपहर में मिला था तुमसे,
यूँ ही बस बिना किसी बात के |
तुमसे मिलने की कोई ख़ास वजह लाता भी कहाँ से,
जब जिंदगी ही बड़ी बेखास सी हो गयी थी |

हमेशा से अलग कुछ शांत से थे तुम ,
जैसे मेरी ही तरह कुछ सोच रहे हो तुम भी |
तलाश रहे हो जवाब उन सवालों के,
जो अपने जवाबों की तरह खुद भी अधूरे से है |

तुम्हारी ख़ामोशी और खोयेपन में,
मुझे बिना मांगे अपने सवाल और जवाब दोनों मिल गए |
तुम अगर सागर हो कर भी निरुत्तर हो सकते हो
जीवन की अनिश्चित लहरों से,
मैं तो एक अदद इंसान हूँ, मेरी बिसात ही क्या है |

उस दिन अच्छा लगा तुम से मिल के समुन्द्र
उस दिन तुम्हारी ख़ामोशी ने सब कुछ कह दिया

सौदेबाज़ी

 

ये सोच कर कलम थामी थी कि
आज तुम पर कुछ नही लिखूंगा 
कम्भक्त आज फिर मैं खुद से ही झूठ बोल रहा था |

जब हमारा ये रिश्ता बना,
मुझे लगा था सिर्फ़ दिलों की सौदेबाज़ी हुई है  
पर ख़यालात, नींद और वक़्त कब मुफ़्त मे तुम्हारे साथ हो लिए
कुछ पता ही नही चला

 किसी माहिर चोर की तरह,
अपने गालों के हिलकोरे और आँखों की गहराई मे
जैसे छुपा कर ले गयी हो तुम ये सब |

जब कभी सोचता हूँ इस सौदेबाज़ी के बारे में,
खुद को ठगा हुआ सा पाता हूँ 
पर फिर जब तुम्हे मुस्कुराते हुए अपने पास आते देखता हूँ
तो बचे हुए खुद को भी तुम पर न्योछावर करने का मन हो उठता है |

सोचा था आज तुम पर कुछ नही लिखूंगा
कम्भक्त, कोई खुद से ही कितना ही झूठ बोलेगा |

समझदारी

जो दिन की हंसी को गर गौर से सुनते
रात के आंसुओं का कोलाहल जान जाते

जो नादानी को मेरी तुम समझ जाते
मेरी समझदारी पर जरूर नाज़ पाते

मेरे लाखों लफ़्ज़ों को जो कभी पड़ पाते
मेरी ख़ामोशी की गहराई में शायद डूब जाते

ना हंसी समझे , ना नादानियाँ

ना ही समझे सके तुम मेरी ख़ामोशी

बस इतना कह कर चले गए की मैं समझता नहीं ।

नींद

यूँ लूटा मुझे,
जैसे कोई रात, नींद चुरा ले गयी हो |
मैं तो यूँ भी तुम्हारा ही था,
देर-सवेर खुद ही खुद को दे देता |
पर तुमने मुझे चुरा कर जो छुपा दिया है,
ना मैं तुम्हे खुद में ढूँढ पाता हूँ,
ना खुद को खुद में |
बस भटकता रहता हूँ किसी पथिक की तरह
जो महज मंज़िल का रास्ता नही, मंज़िल ही भूल गया हो |
जैसे कोई रात नींद चुरा ले गयी हो
और ग़लती से निशानी मे छोड़ गयी हो ये कविता |

आयत

किसी पत्थर पे लिखी आयत की तरह
तुझे खुद मे समां लेना चाहता हूँ
के जो भी इस मोहब्बत को पड़े
सजदे मे सर झुका ले ।

खामियाँ

 

मेहनत की बदबू
मोहब्बत का पागलपन
सपनो की बददिमागी
और तोह्फो की फ़िज़ूलखर्ची
के खुद को बिगाड़ा भी इस नज़ाकत से है तरुण
की हर खामी से प्यार हो जाए!

Moving places!

I have been fortunate(or maybe unfortunate) to have a mobile life till now. I changed 9 schools to clear 12 grades and have lived at more than 10 places (only places with a minimum stay of a month considered). Obviously this means, I  meet a lot of new people and considering that I am a chatter box, I do make a lot of friends. This is precisely where I have slight issues. Moving to new places does means making new friends but it also means leaving the old ones, and not just friends, leaving a place uproots you from familiarity and throws you in an unknown territory. You struggle, searching for some similarity in the new place. Searching for your old friends in new people. And getting disappointed. But then life kicks in. Like beer, you develop a taste for your new surroundings, a liking for your new friends. Realizing that each individual is different and all of them are equally awesome (yeah that annoying whining guy too) and equally horrible (yeah dear, that wonderful girl had her own issues, you will never know)
Each individual and each setting has a unique story to itself and as we gradually settle in, e too become a part of that story.
To summarize, I would quote the line my senior once said to me,

                                                 हर इंसान की एक़ कहानी होती है, बस पढ़ना आना चाहिए |

Cheers to the ever-changing life!

Because Drems are weird

Dreams. Dreams are weird. Some suggest that we should watch dreams with open eyes; I don’t think that’s a good idea. It leads to road accidents and breakups. Neither of which is a good thing. One breaks the body, the other breaks the heart. I prefer having dreams with close eyes. They are the challenging ones; at times they may give you that sensational pleasure that you were longing for (don’t use your brain too much please!) and at times they may make you sweat like anything on a chilling night. I even believe that before we invented flying vehicles, Man must have got the idea of flying in a dream.

Because dreams are weird. You may clean bowled Sachin in a dream and have Angelina Jolie pleading you to go on a date with her. You might as well get stabbed and run over by a huge truck or eaten by a giant dog. But these are the easier ones, these you can outrightly reject as fantasy (Jolie) or Fear (Dogs).

What makes a dream challenging is its capability to interfere with your real world (though distinguishing what is real and what is pretentious can itself be a daunting task).That’s when it gets tricky. Your dream may just throw in your face that hidden desire you have been hiding for so long! You might show middle finger to your annoying boss! May propose that girl in your office and most fearful is the one where you end up doing what you actually want to do (even worse is confessing to self that you have no idea what you want in life and this whole talk of living your passion makes no sense to you!). Then dreams become temptations, they make life more difficult. Then dreams become hell because they make you live your fears. Then dreams become depressing because truth apart from being bitter is also depressing at times.

I still love dreams. Because dreams are weird. They may make life difficult, but they are what make life, life. For what’s life without an aspiring heart?

 

You can kill your desires in daylight

But they will bleed at night.

Love is a struggle.

 

Love is a struggle. When you love someone you can’t love them enough in fear of losing them and not loving them is so difficult. It’s like a beautiful song, a tasty chocolate, a wonderful flower. If you listen the song repetitively too many times, if you eat too much chocolate or if you pluck the flower, the beauty, the taste seems to fade away. The only way of keep loving someone is to not love them too much. Love them just enough.

2015 and decision making

Well a friend suggested me a great idea to begin this year. To give this year a theme and to align my actions accordingly.

It seemed like an abstract idea at first, but then I tried to make some sense out of it; I decided to analyse if my last two years can be assigned any theme in the hindsight. And there indeed was a theme, 2013 was a year of unfortunate events, that made me realize the importance of friends and family in life and brought me a bit closer to both of them. Nonetheless, before departing, 2013 gifted me a sweet gift of a job in a chocolate factory.2014 was a year of transition, which taught me that neither sorrows nor joy lasts forever moved out of college to job and tried adjusting to the new lifestyle.

As 2015 begins, I would like to give this year the theme of decision making. I want to learn that every decision I will ever make will have two sides to it & none of them will be black or white (for if it was so, it will not be decision making but an act of common sense).

Decision making is when both sides are grey. That’s when you need to make a call. Knowing fully well that no matter which side you choose, every decision will bring certain positive and negative repercussions. Only after realizing this and with a little courage can good decision be made!

And only when you overcome this inertia(caused by various fears) to make decisions, you can live life to the fullest.As Ayn Rand said:

He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.

Make Decisions.

Take Responsibility.

Live Life.